“My first year of marriage sucked. People expect what they see on TV and marriage is no exception.”

This is a comment by Tom B on the post “What Marriage Isn’t“.

Tom B said:

First year of my marriage sucked. My wife had this fantasy as to what marriage would be like. She had the proverbial rose colored glasses on and when she took them off, it was completely different. We worked at it and 38 years later, I can’t see my life with anyone else.

Let’s face it, people base what they expect in life on what they see in movies and TV. Just like people thought living in Manhattan with friends (the TV show Friends) was attainable when most of the time the friends were struggling financially and often times unemployed. How many people strived to live like the people on Friends?

Marriage is no different. How it’s portrayed in movies and sitcoms isn’t realistic. I will admit that my expectations were somewhat more grounded in that I came from an intact family with a variety of issues. Being the youngest of 7, I was exposed to real life issues for many years that people don’t see in movies. The day to day doldrums, the generation gap between me and aging parents. These were all issues directly related to our household.

Marriage is what we make it, it should never be what we see others have or what people may think it should be. It is what it is. It’s what we make it. To say that romance is as strong 38 years later, I would be telling a lie. Is there romance? Yes but 38 years later, romance isn’t as important as our just being together.

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