Mike Reynolds considers the hypothetical extremes—the pros, cons, and everything in between—of deciding whether or not to give his five-year-old daughter her first allowance.
—
So, we’re going to give our oldest child an allowance. The Eldest will be five years old in December and we’ll probably give her a dollar or two every week.
Using my math sleuthing, that could equate to us giving her upwards of $100. It’s $100 she’ll probably spend on LEGO Friends or on Skee-Ball games at the country fair that’s held where we live every fall. She’ll make her bed, she’ll put away dishes, and she’ll sweep the dirt into a dust pan. Pretty much, she’ll do jobs that we’re going to have to do a second time because she’ll be five and won’t be able to do it properly.
Yes, we’re giving our child an Allowance.
Which means (somehow simultaneously):
a. we’re ruining her by paying her to do work she should be doing anyway. We should be putting that money in a college fund they’ll use later.
b. we’re teaching her how to be an adult by rewarding her for work she should be doing anyway. You only live once and kids will be kids buying kids things.
My Kid Will Grow Up to Shoplift Bracelets and Cartons of Jelly Belly’s
I know—by giving my child money to do jobs my parents did for free when they were kids is spoiling them. And, I’m giving them money they’re going to fritter away on “crap” like whoopee cushions and caramel popcorn instead of putting it away so they can go to college someday to become a doctor of human body parts.
Research from the Bureau of Children and Rights for Working and Growing has proven again and again that Allowance givers enable their children to grow up to be the kind of people who dump ice water over their heads and then post it to their social media channels instead of giving money directly to an organization in need of that money.
And, it all starts with $1.
First, they’re a little shocked at your plans to give them money on the same day every week as long as they do what it is you’ve set out for them to do that week (in later years, this will become known to them as a work contract). They’ll be happy to have what you’ve laid out for them and they’ll say thank you and be happy to do what it is you want them to do.
After a few weeks, or maybe even months or years, they’ll realize that they’ve fallen into a bit of a pattern. Get up, make bed, put away dishes, get $1, repeat. And they’ll start doing it poorly because they’re bored with their tasks. But, you keep giving them money anyway.
Now they’re being paid to do virtually nothing so they start to “push the envelope,” and they ask for a raise. And you give it to them. Then you give them another one and add one chore to their list that they do really badly. Still, you reward them for getting older, not necessarily for doing a good job.
Then, one day, your 11-year-old is standing at your bedroom door on Allowance payday:
“Dad, I made my bed, can I have $100?”
“Did you tuck it in at the corners?”
“No, I just threw the sheet on top, can I at least have $50?”
“Are the sheets at least facing the right way up? You know there’s a thicker band at the top than at the bottom, that’s a good way to tell if you’ve done it the right way.”
“Actually, I left it on the floor. $10?”
“Sure. You tried.”
It’s that attitude that ultimately leads to shoplifters and do-no-gooders. Winona Ryder, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears—all of them was raised with an allowance.* Parents who are too lenient with their kids, giving them stuff for doing stuff that that kid should be doing even if there’s no offer of stuff.
There are plenty of other ways for kids to be kids. They don’t need their parents’ coinage to be able to experience childhood. Give them a cardboard box, give them a dollar-store harmonica. Give them the name of your imaginary friend from when you were growing up and tell them that they like unicorns too.
*or maybe not.
My Kid Will Become the CEO of MakeMeMoney Corp.
Giving my kid an allowance is preparing them to fight for what they deserve and it will also be their first life course in money management.
There is research that goes contrary to the research mentioned above that suggests the sooner you start to teach your kids about the value of hard work and the correlation between hard work and compensation, the more likely they are to demand, and receive, high compensation from their employers in the future. High compensation leads to the motivation for higher compensation and higher compensation leads to more people wanting to make you happy.
Within seven years of an Allowance child’s graduation from college or launch of their start-up, they will have risen three steps up the corporate ladder. Yes, these are the same children whose parents decided not to invest extra tens, or possibly even hundreds of dollars every year to an education fund.
More importantly, giving a child an allowance of even a few dollars a week allows them to “be a kid while they’re still a kid,” which, in non-quote form, means that they can spend their money on childish things when childish things are still fiscally responsible to spend things on. When I was growing up, jelly beans, baseball trading cards, fart slime, choose-your-own-adventure novels, licorice, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and 2L bottles of Coke were all things that retailers would refuse to sell to kids unless they were purchased using Allowance money.
So, a child would buy them with their money. Which not only meant they weren’t buying drugs and cigarettes and alcoholic drinks of many different proofs, it also meant they got their fair share of spending done in the early years. Going forwards, every time the IKEA catalog came out, they’d reflect “I’ve already spent my money on things I don’t need. I think instead of buying that closet organizer I’m going to invest in some blue chip mutual funds.”
Which really, will be handy when the people that work for her company ruin her business because, having never been given an Allowance themselves, spend too much time on eBay and Etsy and other places you can still buy things Allowance getters will have purchased when they were young.
Note the subtle differences between kids who do chores and receive an Allowance and those who do not:
Receives:
“Thank you for the $2, Father, I decided to not only make my bed but also to make the beds of all the others in the family.”
“Why thank you, but don’t we all make our beds already?”
“Not well enough. I did it, but better.”
Doesn’t Receive:
“I set my bed on fire because I didn’t want to make it for free. Buy me a new one.”
“OK.”
Subtle, but there. Also note that one parent gave $2 to his child and the other is now knee-deep in purchasing more beds for his children.
Allowance = Happy Life.
In Conclusion
Allowances are for weak parents who are very strong and want to spoil their child while at the same time making them more productive members of the family unit. Translated: Give your kid $2 or don’t give your kid $2, an Allowance isn’t going to make or break them. Don’t think you’re better if you don’t give them one and don’t expect your child to become a math prodigy because you gave them access to a coin made of aluminum bronze coated with multi-ply plated brass and steel coated with multi-ply plated nickel (I used Wikipedia).
I had an Allowance growing up and I loved it because money was awesome. But, I don’t remember what I spent any of it on. I was frivolous with it and still like to spend money on crap I don’t need. I also still like to clean bathrooms and close my closet doors at night and I still make my bed religiously. Why? Who knows, but not because of an Allowance.
So, my 5-year-old will learn something because we give her money but I don’t know what it will be and it won’t define her. But, I will steal from her if she picks Reese’s Pieces.
♦◊♦
Originally appeared on PuzzlingPosts.com; Credit: Image Header—Thomas Galvez/Flickr; All other images courtesy of the author
The post Giving an Allowance: Are You Raising a Shoplifter or a CEO? appeared first on The Good Men Project.