A story of how one man finds himself on the brink of losing his home after many self-induced mistakes.
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The doorbell rang last week while I was working on something. I got up, went downstairs and opened the door.
“Joseph Rutland?” the man asked.
“Yes.”
“Summons for your court appearance. OK?”
“OK. Thanks.”
I let out a big sigh and smile. I knew that this day might happen, although hoping it would not. The summons was an eviction notice from my home because of late rent. Really late rent … and I knew it was going to happen. It’s not like I have not been doing anything to bring money into my life. This is simply a reflection of how I’ve mucked up my finances for many years.
Before I go any further, let me say that I take 100% full responsibility for this macabre mess. I had a job about 40 miles from where I live now and was under the impression (maybe wrong on my part … duh!) that a couple of other projects were picking up in April. So I left that job in the hope (not reality, but hope) that those would take flight. As of now, they haven’t.
About this losing my home stuff? Oh boy, sit down.
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Being fair with myself, there have been moments of financial stability. I can remember having a solid income-producing job in El Paso, which was downsized a year after I got it. In 2013, after going through a period of unemployment and couch-hopping with a good friend of mine, I started working three different jobs and – voila! – a couple of repos were paid off and became financially pretty clear.
Financial fear and insecurity, though, reared its ugly head as summer closed. One of the steady gigs that I was working looked like it was going to fall through, so instead of simply trusting and staying where I was living … I chose to move back out to Arizona for another job. When first approached about this opportunity with a company I’d done contract work for before, I said no. Then, that fear kicked in and changed my “gut” instinct answer from no to a maybe.
Trusting and listening to my “gut” would have helped a lot. My “gut” is now yelling at me, “See, you big dummy! You should’ve listened to me.” Funny, I didn’t think it would sound like Redd Foxx’s Fred Sanford character from TV’s “Sanford & Son.”
Mind you, I love it out here in the Valley of the Sun. I had this surge of energy, hope and excitement fill me up from head to toe. I felt like all of my financial ducks were in a row even before moving back from Texas to Arizona … again.
I moved out here and the beautiful mountains, sunsets and—yes—hot weather all blessed me with a kiss. The Great American Southwest is actually pretty awesome. I had plans to travel to Sedona, Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon. I still do.
I started getting settled into an awesome place, but found myself going from being in the black to just getting by to struggling. Then, I had this “bright idea” (not!) that getting 3-4 credit cards—despite their high interest rates—was the answer. I knew again, thanks to my “gut,” that it was not the healthy thing to do. But I was just looking to keep my head above water. Oops!
For the job, I drove 40-plus miles back and forth five days a week. The type of work was not physical labor, OK. It was more mental and creative than anything.
Mixing that job with freelance work was my plan. It was going to provide enough income for me to live comfortably, do this job and go enjoy my days off traveling.
Sadly, as I write this, I have yet to visit any of those places mentioned earlier. Most of my travels have been along Interstate 10 between Chandler and where I worked. Lots of cactus, 18-wheelers and farmland filled my view on the daily drive.
At night, though, the stars filled the sky and I often smiled at the galaxy’s incredible beauty.
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A pattern of steady income but having low balances or writing checks that bounced goes back to when I moved away from home at 29. It was my responsibility to handle the finances for my mom and myself at 19. Checks didn’t bounce during those times, yet once I got on my own … I was not financially conscious. It was more like letting an 8-year-old tucked inside a 29-year-old’s body loose into the big city of Houston.
No, I’m not laying any of my own personal financial irresponsibility on my family. Nope. That’s not on them. This is all on the one writing these words. The man I see in the mirror every day.
You might be asking why I am writing about this. I’m doing this so other men and women can learn from my mistakes. Who knows? Someone might get a good chuckle at my misguided shenanigans. Please, do not do what I have done. Whatever you do, don’t do this! Also, a theme of these columns has been to write about what my life is like as a 50-year-old man. Therefore, you get a front-row ringside seat to this circus. Aren’t you glad you got some popcorn now?
Yes, friends, I’m very, very aware that there are hundreds and thousands of 50-something men and women who have great habits around money. They are light years ahead of me, and I can learn from them.
Now, there is a chance that all of this gets settled after facing the judge this week and I stay in my home. Quite honestly, I love where I live. I completely understand my responsibilities, though.
Redemption stories are powerful. People, including myself, find great strength and courage from them. What I’ve written about this week is where I am today. It does not define me as a man totally. I’m not my negative bank balance, not my housing situation, not my list of creditors. I’m a loving, caring, kind, compassionate, beautiful, handsome, sexy, healing man.
Will there be a happy ending? No matter what happens, I’ll always choose to believe in the positives. I do have a body and some friends. I can see, walk with two legs, talk, feel, type with two hands and have a heart filled with love.
I’m a pretty blessed man.
Tune in next week for my own version of “Deal or No Deal.”
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Photo: Aazam Yaqoob/Flickr
The post Cancel My Reservation Please … I’m Facing Eviction appeared first on The Good Men Project.
